I was an awful poster last year. I somehone got tangled in a web of self-doubt feelings combine with MAJOR laziness, so I didn´t write anything. I did end up writing a short story for a contest @ shrinktalk.net. Of course I didn’t win because a) it was lame and b) it was lame. I wrote it in about 30 minutes so I couldn’t do much editing or giving any interesting dimention and twist to the story.
I’m going to post it. I’m horrible with titles and I was in a hurry, so it is untitled. I forgot to add to the blogger not to put my name, but oh well.
Here it goes.
A wave of relief filled Summer´s heart as she carefully caressed her cello. She looks at her picture on the desk with shock and disbelief; she’s no longer that girl in the picture. Her life turned 180 degree after that single episode two summers ago. She can’t make sense how a single event can chained her perpetually. Dullness, slowness, and obsession took over her mind, drifting her away from her precious cello.
This afternoon is not like any other, for the first time in two years she knew exactly what to do. She decided she’s going to accept the invitation as a soloist during the fall Bach festival, but as an especial request she’s going to play her own piece at the end of the concert. Summer is determined to perform the most prominent concert of her life. The uniqueness of this constitutes of small fragments of her life. Until this afternoon it didn’t have an ending, but now she knows how it must end. It should express her freedom and now she knows how and what to color.
Music for Summer is visual; she can see all sorts of colors and play with them. Every color in her piece is tied to memories. They are as bright as her mother tenderness to as dark as her hollow self. She’s painting a picture with her cello, but nobody knows what she’s painting unless they know fairly well the contrast from pain and joy. Her cello becomes her only window to the outside world, too bad she didn’t seek it earlier.
Summer worked diligently over 9 months for this especial concert, but aside from this, she decided to leave everything in order. She finally organizes a reunion with family and friends- people she loves, that for some reason she hid herself from. They were surprised, but please to finally see her up close. She knew how unfair she was to them and felt guilty over the time lost, but life is short and time is time. No one can go back in time; however, she knows she wouldn’t act differently.
Two summers ago she was a different person, but how on earth can she rescue old Summer? She needs her. She wants her. Is she dead? She knows the answer, but she can’t let her go. Perhaps if her memory was erased her pain will eventually go away and she’ll be back. If only there was such thing as a selective memory remover, then her problems would finally cease.
A silky, long, midnight blue dress, little makeup, a pearl necklace, and her typical ponytail will do the trick tonight. She’s not interested to be seeing, but mostly to be heard. If she could only hide herself with the cello everything would be perfect. She plays the classical pieces by Bach- Nothing she never played before. To her surprised she truly enjoyed playing them. Pleasure became unknown to her as the stranger took over her mind.
A small break comes before her piece. She’s extremely nervous and excited, but there’s something more; she feels her blood burning with passion. This was the greatest loss she suffered when the stranger took over. Now she knows that she’s finally getting a hold of herself. She’s going to play it flawlessly. It is all she ever wanted. As Summer starts playing her final pieces, her souls gets back into her body, finally meeting old Summer. She is finally alive and thoughts about beautiful things that she has in her life starts to creep in. Sadly she concludes about her unforgivable choice of letting one life event ruin her life. Regrets fills her soul and a sea of tears start to roll down her cheeks. It is the first time she cried. She was unable to cry after that event. There´s is something to it tonight.
The concert is over and she´s drowning in unexpected joy. Summer can’t really make sense out of this miracle; she wants to live. Sadly, it is too late, as she swallowed several pills of rat poison before the concert. It won’t kill her instantly and all she needs to do is waiting for the tender touch of death to invade her being. In the meantime, she chooses to spend her time wisely deeply lost in her memories.